I realise that an immense amount of time has elapsed since my last entry, and I do apologise for my silence. I’m really far too exhausted (see last photo) to give a full account of my activities, but I don’t mind indulging your curiosity with a few representative photographs. Just think of it as a kind of upmarket Hello, just with a genuine celebrity instead of all those dreary nonentities.

Well, the first thing that happened was that it snowed again. I know all about snow now, so was able to enter enthusiastically into the full spectrum of wintry activities. Well, at least until I got frost in my whiskers.

Ellie, of course, just stayed on the warm windowsill and looked at it.

A couple of weeks later, something really mysterious happened; the entire family of house humans (apart from the Gawain whom I hadn’t seen since Christmas) disappeared for several days and left me in charge of the house. (Ellie thought that she was in charge, but she’d obviously misunderstood.) I was a bit concerned about the technicalities of keys and water bowls, but a delightful young lady called Sonia from the vet’s surgery came round twice a day to feed us and take me out, so I needn’t have worried. She was so nice that I tried quite hard to get into her car when she returned the keys, but I was once again thwarted in my automotive plans. I try pulling quite hard whenever we go past the vet’s, but haven’t yet persuaded them to go away again.

I don’t know where they went, whether they got as far as Newsy Land, but it certainly involved a large boat and the recovery of the lost Gawain.

So for a few days the family was at full capacity once more. One thing was rather disturbing – I heard the Sue (the Gawain’s girlfriend, with whom I established a close friendship at Christmas) calling out to me. I looked everywhere, but couldn’t find her. It appeared, to my horror, that she had been trapped inside the Gawain’s computer. It all seemed most uncomfortable, but she sounded happy enough.

Talking of individuals in inappropriately sized containers, Ellie continues to treat my bed as though it is some kind of public feline amenity. The Mum keeps showing me how to flip her out and suggesting that I do the same. It’s amusing to watch, but I fear that I am too much the gentleman to employ such tactics. (And deep down, I must confess to enjoying a nice justified sulk.)

Sadly, after all too short a time, the Gawain and the Mum headed off to the bus station and only the Mum returned. She claims that he is back in Newsy Land, though I’m almost sure that neither Ulsterbus nor Bus Eireann have it on their timetables.

His spirit is still with us, however, as the chess-playing tradition is continued by more junior members of the family. I prefer not to humiliate them by exhibiting my King’s Indian.

Meanwhile I am back at Work, attracting the sympathy of strangers as I plod along in the Dad’s wake. Their concern, well-meant as it is, would be slightly more courteous were it not expressed as ‘Aahh. He’s far too fat to walk.’ It’s thick and healthy fur, I tell you, helped along by the house-humans’ tea tree shampoo. I must confess to being a little weary this evening though.